Summer Reads, Make Me Feel Fine

When I look at this list of books I read over the summer, I feel two things. One, I must really not like fiction. I always knew it wasn't my favorite, but geeze. Two, I feel like this list is pitiful compared to how many novels I have to read while I'm in school. However, I'm doing good to read even one novel for the sheer pleasure of it during a regular semester, so I can't say this is all bad.

1. Creating Community: Five Keys to Building A Small Group Culture by Andy Stanley and Bill Willits

While this was a look into how to literally create small group culture in a growing church, this was such a good reminder of how important discipleship and fellowship among believers really is. While this book is more of a blueprint in church building, it has helped me understand how to organize large groups of people in the most relationally effective way. This is about as calculating (not cold) as you can get when you are talking about forging relationships and connecting people in a meaningful and intentional manner.

2. Wilderness Skills for Women: How To Survive Heartbreak and Other Full-Blown Meltdowns by Marian Jordan

Now I have to admit, I was a bit hesitant when beginning this book. I was afraid it was going to be a self-help book with a few pieces of Scripture thrown in. (And the wilderness theme threw me for a loop, too.) How wrong was I. It was like this woman was peering into the depths of my heart and addressing everything going on, but with a wickedly funny sense of humor and at the same time the sympathy and tenderness of having been there, too. She offered wonderful and Biblical perspective on the rough seasons of life and provided countless examples from the Word and made me realize that there are others who have been there, too, and how faithful God is despite whatever grief/sorrow/worry/anxiety I may be plagued with in the present.

3. Set-Apart Femininity by Leslie Ludy

This is what my wonderful discipleship leader, Ashley, and I worked through this summer. While there were times that I just rolled my eyes when reading (every time she mentioned her other book or when she slammed the author of another popular Christian book), the conversations it led me and Ashley to have was worth it. She spoke a lot of convicting truth, but it was a labor of love getting through the writing. If you have the tenacity to trudge through it, do it, otherwise pick something else.

4. My Lucky Life In And Out of Show Business: A Memoir by Dick Van Dyke

I'm a sucker for a good biography. I love looking into the lives of other people, especially when they are humble enough to admit their shortcomings as well as situations and circumstances that got them where they are. While it's hard to be critical of any person's own story, I was a bit let down by this one. However, I think that was due to my own expectations. Let's be honest, I wanted to hear mostly about Mary Poppins.

5. Kisses from Katie: A Story of Relentless Love and Redemption by Katie Davis

I feel like you almost have to be living under a rock to not know something about this book. Or maybe it's just because my community in Auburn is always talking about it. Regardless, I picked this up while I was still in school with every intention of reading it in one sitting. Didn't happen. But I'm so glad I waited to finish it closer to my trip to East Asia. While Uganda and China are vastly different, I was even more excited to love and kiss on the precious faces of my orphans.

6. The President's Club: Inside the World's Most Exclusive Fraternity by Nancy Gibbs and Michael Duffy

If you don't like history, you definitely won't like this book. And if you don't have a working knowledge of history, you're not going to understand this book. Other than that, it's a very well written (read: dense) book chronicling what is a very real club: the fraternity of living presidents. It's more than just a social club, it's the arsenal on which each president can call upon when he needs someone with the right skills and connections to help make the impossible possible. Overall, it's one of the better history books I've read and would recommend it if you have any interest in the 20th and 21st century presidencies.

6. One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are by Ann Voskamp

No one is more disappointed than I am when I say I didn't like this book. It didn't live up to my expectations after numerous trustworthy friends recommended it. From the first page I had my doubts. Her prose is impeccably poetic, and maybe that's what threw me for a loop. I looked back on Amazon to read other reviews (which I neglected to do after so much word-of-mouth) and thought one reviewer stated it perfectly: the message gets lost in the words. It's not so much a disagreement of the points she is trying to make, it's the distractions of trying to get there that I found frustrating. I have plenty more books I'd recommend before this one.

7. Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy by Eric Mataxas

I've been eyeing this one since spring break when my sweet friend Abby toted a copy to the beach. Knowing she spent two years of her Auburn career in the history department, I imagined this book at 542 pages would be easy for her and more challenging for me. And let me tell you, it was a dense read. There was more detail than I could pay attention to, so there I skimmed a paragraph every now and then, but overall I loved this book. If you don't know about Bonhoeffer and you have the time and attention span to handle this biography, do it.

8. Spiritual Profiling: How Jesus Interacted With 8 Different Types of People and Why It Matters for You by Tom O. Hovestol

 Once again, I started this one while I was still in school and never reached the half-way mark due to lack of time. But now it's finished. While I wouldn't say this a step-by-step evangelism instruction guide, it definitely gives great perspective on how Jesus interacted with people of different social, political, economic, and religious sects. The depth of study is outstanding for the length of the book, and provides different accounts throughout scripture of Jesus speaking with people others wouldn't have spoken to if their lives depended on it.

9. Esther: It's Tough Being A Woman by Beth Moore

I love Beth and all of her craziness. (P.S. If you don't follow her on twitter, you should. What a hoot!) Naturally, I felt predisposed to enjoying this study. While it started off  s l o w l y I finally rejoiced, half jokingly, half seriously, with Ashley when I finally flipped the page to the next part of Esther in my bible after spending over three weeks on the same page. Huge fan of Beth's look at this Old Testament story and, as usual, walk away full of new knowledge and understanding of how this plays in the big picture. I've got notes scribbled in every book from Genesis to Revelations that relate back to Esther.

10. Life Together: The Classic Exploration of Christian Community by Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Legit. This has quickly moved up on my favorite books of all time list right next to A.W. Tozer's The Knowledge of the Holy. And the main reason I'm so aware of that is because those two books have more lines underlined than not. Something about short books (this one coming in right at 122 pages, in my edition at least) and the poetically brilliant, yet straight to the point, authors really grab my attention. Full of wisdom, Bonhoeffer examines the nature of Christian fellowship with such depth and scriptural reference that he hardly leaves room for questions before answering them. I can't recommend this one enough. Just trust me.

11. Bossypants by Tina Fey
I needed something mindless to read while we travelled to, through, and from China. Well, I was way too tired to do a whole lot of reading, but I did suffer a bout of insomnia on the way back home. When I wasn't completely enthralled watching our flight tracker I read this on my kindle. I needed something that I didn't have to think about, and that's exactly what I got. 

Wouldn't It Be Nice

The fam jam just returned from a week at the beach. Let me tell you, I wasn't sure if we were going to make it... there were some touch-and-go moments in the car when traffic was backed up and we had yet to eat lunch. But that's okay, we're here.

We celebrated Father's Day...

This was all I could get him to muster up. Poor kid, he got nailed in the eye with a football on the beach that day. It's not a Schilling family vacation without blood, sweat, and tears.

Kyle's friend, Connor. What a character to have join us on this trip. He and Billy are kindred spirits, if you can't tell.

...and flew kites.

Billy means business when it comes to his kites.

Got some reading done...

I ended up packing more than this. And then buying more at the beach because I ran out of stuff to read. (Except that Bonhoeffer book. Still working on that one.)

...and these were the albums of choice for beach music. No rhyme or reason, it just happened.

Mat Kearney's City of Black & White

Adam Hood's The Shape of Things

We also had to call AAA about 5 hours after arrival because the car battery died. So, yeah. That was a fun way to start the trip off. 

I managed not to get burned. Mostly by just staying inside a lot, but also lotioning up with SPF 50 and 70. And you know what, after the first day out the fam was begging to use that 50. I've learned my lesson the hard way. Awkward sunburn from Amplify and afternoon Auburn baseball game? Yeah, just got rid of the lines from those. Pity, they were so pretty in pictures from formal.

And now the rest of the summer disappears. Thankfully there is still plenty to enjoy! Coldplay concert, East Asia, and Pi Chi duties, and playing with my favorite exec staff on the Plains all before classes begin!

So Long, Farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, Adieu

 This week I had to say, "so long" to another dear friend embarking on a big summer adventure! Caroline is headed to Austria to take some classes and I'm insanely jealous! 

The girl who was a nun every. single. year. in our camp skit (I'm talking 8th-12th grade, people) is going to the homeland of her sisters. (Even though the "homeland" is probably Vatican City, but we're going The Sound of Music route here.)

Naturally, we had a little going away party. Complete with nun themed presents as parting gifts.

That's a real gem, right there.

Here's to hoping you clim ev'ry mountain, ford ev'ry stream, follow ev'ry rainbow, 'till you find your dream.

P.S. I expect you to full-on imitate the opening scene where Julie Andrews runs with arms wide opening singing that the hills are alive. Or puppeteer a production of The Lonely Goatherd. It's a toss up.

My definitely-not-obligatory-yet-still-important "what I learned summer in between sophomore and junior year" list

otherwise known as, "The Longest Title Ever" and "It's My Blog And I Can Do What I Want."

Summer was a weird time. It's strange that I've literally been in school for the past year with few breaks and I'm just going to keep on going. I guess what this is what it will be like to have a big girl job in the real world? Good thing I'm going to be a teacher. Here's what summer taught me:

1. Outback Curbside To-Go with online ordering is the best and worst thing in existence.

2. Never leave Hillary alone in the kitchen. (See this for proof.)

3. It's okay that we never went to the Helen Keller festival. It's not like she got to see it anyway.

4. The dynamics of our friend group may seem strange. But we are similar to most television casts and that is why we're so darn funny.

5. Coupons are nothing to be ashamed of. Use them with pride.

6. Always feed Dad before taking him antiquing.

7. Don't kid yourself and order a small soft-serve cone at Chick-fil-A. Go big or go home.

8. Cracker Barrel has sub-par service.

9. Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home.

10. Reading in accents makes any boring subject way more interesting.

11. Costco sells Nutella practically by the gallon.

12. TV Land has some seriously entertaining shows.

13. Step Aerobics can make you want to punch people in the face.

14. There's nothing wrong with staying home to fix up your thrift store finds on a Friday night.

15. I can do a master job at parallel parking if the entire football is watching me from the sidewalk.

16. Hillary can't back her car up with someone screaming at her.

17. You need to have a game plan for Chewlacla.

18. Homemade granola might be the best snack food ever.

Braves Country

Yesterday we took a little roadtrip to Braves Country! It was a weird day, to say the least. When we got to The Varsity for lunch, we observed a man sauntering up and down the street in a white veil. Then an absurd number of police storm the restaurant while everyone continues eating. We're pretty sure we saw a cop get left by his buddies, too. Then Hillary had some parking attendant man yelling at her how to back her car into a parking space that was not a legal spot. Terrifying, but she braved it like a champ.

Then at the game the joker below jumps onto the field during the seventh inning. We're pretty sure that's a man in a wedding dress. We're still questioning whether or not he wore it in or brought it in a backpack.

As if the day wasn't weird enough, the B-52s performed a little Saturday night post-game concert. Who are the B-52s, you ask? 2 words: Love Shack. We didn't end up staying long enough to hear that one because we old ladies (and Kevin) were up way past our bedtime.

So glad for a fun weekend with some precious friends who like to jam to Destiny's Child, the Macarena, and Smashmouth in the car, too.

Helter Skelter in the Summer Swelter

Sometimes we just like to celebrate America on random days. We just roll with life, you know?

American Pie only seemed appropriate since we've listened to the song just about every single day this summer.

Somebody has a tendency to misuse the stove and/or oven. This time it was just potatoes, which I promptly made her dump out across the street from our house.

Raw emotion.

We've been talking a lot about love languages and love tanks. Sweet Hill is trying to understand my need for words of affirmation. It's okay, we're working on her love language, too.

Observations from suburbia...part three

I had a great summer job. Really. It was so perfect for right now. But it had its...moments.

For example...

Wednesday. A lady comes and buys a robe for her daughter. Mom picks out monogramming. Great. Saturday. Daughter comes to pick up robe. She cries. Literal tears streaming down her face. No, it's not the wrong initials. No, it's not a family heirloom that has been ruined. She just hates the font. She thinks it's too "scripty." The font used was almost block. Picks another monogram. Leaves. Tuesday. Daughter returns to store. Picks up robe for the SECOND time. Just looks at it. Manager asks if there's anything wrong. Girl stares some more. Monogram is fine. Manager asks if we need to take it out. Again. Girl quietly says no. Girls Leaves. We take bets on if she went to her car and cried. There are just bigger things in life to worry about, you know?

I can't leave this kind of drama.

But it gets better.

This is the story that will forever go down as the best work moment of all time:

I'm in the back of the store taking inventory. Cake is sitting on the table. Owner is holding a stocking in one hand and juggling something else in the other. Stocking and cake make contact. Icing is on stocking. Owner licks icing off of stocking. I stare. I ask owner, "Did you just lick that stocking?" Owner responds, "Well, I guess I just did." Owner giggles. I stare. No further conversation needed. (Side note: the stocking never made it out to the sales floor.)

Or this one...

Owner is helping customer. Customer finds aromatherapy bottles. Customer wants to smell a different scent. Owner opens a different bottle. Owner spills liquid everywhere. Owner walks in the back and says, "I spilt that stuff all over me, and now I smell like a french whorehouse." More expletives used. Question remains: how does she know what a french whorehouse smells like?

But then again, sometimes my job involves just listening to people.

One day, a lady told me that she needed a gift for a cousin with whom she had just reconnected. Great. That's still a little more than I need to know, but not too intimate. She keeps going. Apparently, said cousin's great grandparents took a covered wagon out to Idaho. This is when I know I'll be keeping on my fake smile for quite some time. Customer continues to tell me about what life was like out west back in those days. Lady, I took years of American History classes AND played Oregon Trail back in the day. I think I have an idea. Plus, YOU WEREN'T THERE. I don't care how much it snowed. Does that affect the huge linen pillowcase you're buying? Didn't think so.... The things we do to make sure customers are happy in the store.

Frequently overheard phrases:

Crap-a-doodle-doo

If it's not one thing, it's your mother

Shut the front door.

Oh, WHOA.

Are you KIDDING me?

I'm having a hot flash.

You're a hot mess.

We got another email from Indonesia...

My Life in Lists #11

This is the most pitiful, little pathetic summer reading list of all time.

1. Skin and Other Stories by Roald Dahl

2. Crazy Love by Francis Chan

3. Let The Great World Spin by Colum McAnn

4. Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll

5. Tender is the Night by F. Scott Fitzgerald

6. A Separate Piece by John Knowles (annual re-read)

7. Radical by David Platt

8. Campbell Essential Biology with Physiology (summer school ate up a lot of time, okay?)

9. The Hound of The Baskervilles by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

But, I did make a HUGE dent in my read through the Bible in one year plan. Like, more than 3 months worth of a dent.

My Life in Lists #9

I move back to school in less than two weeks. That little number begs the question: where did summer go?

10 Things I've done with my summer:

1. Made the grades. There's nothing wrong with community college, but it was an experience to say the least. Biology II was a lot less stressful here, but my huge sustainability project was a thorn in my side. If my BIOL 1000 class of 300+ students had to make individual power points, we would still be sitting in the auditorium.

2. Made some money. My little summer job turned into "spend everyday you're not at school here" kind of job. That was okay, though. It gave me the opportunity to save some money for something in the future (travel, perhaps?) and put some money in my pocket for the time being.

3. Made Martha Stewart proud. Okay, that was wishful thinking. But I did make lots of crafty gifts to give to my sorority little sister. The family tree is stinking precious, as is the clipboard. I'm just glad I won't be up in the middle of the night, balancing Thoreau on one hand, and a canvas with wet paint on the other. (But who am I kidding? That's like my dream evening.)

4. Made the postmaster upset. I had lots of friends at camp this summer, so naturally I had to send them all letters. Only I like to get super creative with my letters (see No. 3), especially with my alphabet stamp sets. So I'm sure United States postal workers were not amused to have to decipher my "artwork."

5. Made the transition. I'm not an ignorant freshman anymore. I'm now an ignorant sophomore. But it has been a year since I left home for the first time on my own, and I'm still doing just fine. No major breakdowns. No truly traumatic experiences. No major lifestyle change. Yep, doing just fine.

6. Made (more) time for the Lord. I kind of went into the summer with a bad attitude about what He was going to do with me. Boy, was I wrong. He shook me, rocked me, and totally blew me away. Even sweeter...I got to share what was going on in my life with some lovely friends during all of it. They completely challenged me, encouraged me, and committed to pray for me.

7. Made some memories. In the words of Mary Elizabeth Turner, "I love that we made a ton of inside jokes just now." So thankful for precious time with precious friends during the freedom only summertime can bring.

8. Made some plans. I feel like I have some direction to my life, without having "make it or break it" plans. And I like it that way. I like not knowing exactly what the Lord has got in store for me, but that there are options that glorify Him with the abilities that I currently possess.

9. Made a dent in my reading list. Okay, it was more like a scratch. Sadly, this summer did not lend the usual abundant reading time usually present in my breaks from school. However, I did read enough to satiate my appetite for the written word. Plus, the more time devoted to reading, the less time to spend on everything else.

10. Made a motto for the summer. Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good.

observations from suburbia...part two

Back in 8th grade, I took an etiquette class with a bunch of my friends. We addressed the usual: table manners, ballroom dancing, phone etiquette...pretty standard stuff. However, we neglected to bring up the entirely different code for another place: the gym. If you spend enough time in there, you pick up on the rules pretty quickly, especially if you're the subject of nasty, sweaty-browed glares and you can feel the judgement strapping you in like a decent sports bra.

The choice of a machine is a potential hotbed for latent anger by fellow gym-goers. Unless you go to an all-ladies fitness center, the boys bring their similar attitudes about urinals with them to the gym: it's practically a sin to pick a machine right next to someone.
First it's awkward.
Then they think you're trying to one-up them.
So it turns into a race.
First it's who can actually move the fastest.
Then it's all about bumping up resistance/slope.
Then whoever appears to be in the most distress is automatically deducted points.
But whosoever shall abandon his or her machine first is automatically the loser, especially if it was the person who started the whole controversy in the beginning.

So...there's a lot to learn.

Then there's the whole "wipe down the machine with the provided moist towlettes" thing. Watching someone walk up to a machine without first wiping it down is like watching someone leave the bathroom without washing their hands. Utter disgust. Especially if you're on a treadmill or an elliptical, or any other machine that is sweat-inducing. So it's expected that everyone wipe it down before beginning. But then there are people who sweat exorbitant amounts. Like just walking into the gym kicks their sweat glands into overdrive. Hey, I'm one of them. It's cool. But if you're going to sweat all over the place, it's a common courtesy to also wipe down the machine post workout. Look, we don't want to spread swine flu, hepatitis, or the bubonic plague here. Just keep your germy business to yourself and we can all workout peacefully.

And then there's the locker room.

Let's be honest; I spend as little time in there as possible. And when I say that, I really mean I will only enter if I absolutely MUST use the restroom right at that very moment. But it's just an awkward place. Not that I spend an extensive amount of time in men's locker rooms, but I have a feeling the women's locker room atmosphere is like another world entirely. Firstly, it's always clean. There's no water splashed around. And it is every woman's responsibility to keep it that way. You just stare straight ahead at the lockers. You don't even talk. You gather your stuff as quickly as possible. You leave. Personal stuff can be taken care of at home. No need to do it in front of everyone else.

I mean, those are just the basics. You can REALLY get yourself in hot water if you run the wrong direction on the track. Or if you stand too close in line at the water fountain. Or if your stare starts to linger, then turns into full on creeping. Or if you start singing out loud to your music. Or if you yell at the TV. (Exception: During World Cup games, it's okay to yell. Everyone does it.) Or if you try to talk on your cell phone and workout, because, really, who are you kidding? Someone needs to write a book on this. Or offer a class. Let's save some people some embarrassment and help them out.

night, when words fade and things come alive

Night, the beloved. Night, when words fade and things come alive. When the destructive analysis of day is done, and all that is truly important becomes whole and sound again. When man reassembles his fragmentary self and grows with the calm of a tree. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

I find it ironic that it was the Chinese who invented fireworks, yet every 4th of July it's practically un-American to neglect shooting off your own explosives. And I'm not really sure that's what the Founding Fathers had that in mind either. Regardless, we had some fun times with sparklers, roman candles, bottle rockets, and small fireworks in the neighborhood tonight. Oh, and Happy Birthday, America. 234 years may be a lot, but Methuselah is still beating you by 735 years. Good luck with that.

Oh, and you're presh.

my cup runneth over

I'm getting ready to get personal.

(So bow out now if you can't deal with mushy-gushy feelings.)

But it is because my heart is happy and my boots are light.

(And maybe because I watched Peter Pan last night.)

This is such a sweet, sweet phase of life I'm in right now.

Seriously, as I drove home tonight I just thanked the Lord for where I am in my life right now. I'm not in a hurry to grow up, but I have a satisfiable degree of independence. I'm confident in myself, but aware that I still have plenty of growing to do and mistakes to make. I'm not worried about the pressures of this world, but have hope in the eternal. I have precious friends who are each a blessing in their very own way. Laughter, joy, and encouragement are never lacking. I don't want to wish away the rest of my life to stay in these moments, as greater things are yet to come, but I will always cherish this special time.

Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good.

"By the grace of God, I am what I am..." I Corinthians 15:10a

Maybe I'm the only one who missed it, but "Peter Pan" has some pretty deep themes on life, love, and happiness.

breaking up is hard to do

Dear Yogurt Mountain,

We need to talk. I think we need a break. It's just not working out for me. I never agreed this would be mutually exclusive, and I'm just not ready for a commitment. I mean, let's face it, you're kind of a slut. You never have an open parking spot, and some hussy is always cutting me off in the toppings line. It's a hassle to drive on 280 during rush hour, fight of Sienna minivans for a parking spot, and then have to wait in line to spend time together. I don't think you understand my needs and we just don't have anything in common anymore. So I've moved on. I met the greatest new frozen yogurt boutique. His location is fantastic, perfect for an afterwork treat. He's kind of like the "Lars from Norway" of frozen yogurt franchises. Plus, he's so giving, and supporting him means supporting a small business in my community. Mr. Yogurt Lab is a dreamboat waiting to carry me off to far and exotic places via tastebuds. I hope you find someone who makes you just as happy. I just want you to know, it's not you; it's me. But I still think we should be friends. And, hey, there are always plenty of other fish in the sea.

Best Regards,

KMS

something borrowed, something blue

This weekend the whole fam packed up the swagger wagon to go to another cousin's wedding in Mobile. (Oh, the joys of being one of twelve grandchildren.) But regardless of the fact that all five of us were shoved in a car together for extended amounts of time, it was a pretty uneventful weekend. There was a minor meltdown involving a precious little Yorkie puppy we all wanted, which then involved the hatching of a major plan to persuade Dad to buy it for us; but, in the end, it was Mom who switched sides on us and put her foot down. So we left Mobile puppy-less, but not without sad puppy faces.

At the reception

This was voted the favorite picture of the weekend

THE Swagger Wagon: it may not be a Sienna mini-van, but we've got the turtle on top

observations from suburbia...part one

This afternoon I headed out to my neighborhood pool to catch some rays before my cousin's wedding this weekend (What is it about having to look better than normal just to see a whole lot of family? More on that later...) and I was just amused watching everyone there. Seriously, it was a circus.

Our lifeguard is more like Squints, not the male version of Wendy Peffercorn

First, we've got the pre-pubescent lifeguard. He's a nice enough guy, but really, who are you protecting? He attempts to impress all the ladies above the age of ten by scoring goals on the basketball goal situated on the edge of the pool. Lifeguard-boy, you are a hoot.

Like I said, a nice nazi.

Next we have the pool nazi. She's actually a very nice lady... once she is absolutely positive that you are not breaking any of the pool rules, i.e., you do, in fact, live in our neighborhood and that you are old enough to be at the pool by yourself. Her house is right next door to the club house and pool, so she's not actually in an authority position on the homeowner's board, but she's taken upon the responsibility as her own. You rock on, pool protector.

They weren't quite this picturesque

Moving on, there is the mom towing three young children. In typical mom fashion, she's rocking her polo tankini. Over the course of about an hour, one of the girls has a meltdown because mom used her towel (tears and all), both little girls get in trouble for sassing their mother, the little boy attempts to squirt everyone in sight with his water blaster, all three get yelled at for running (by the mom, not the lifeguard), there are at least 5 threats to "pack up and go home right now if your behavior doesn't improve immediately," 6 juice boxes, one broken straw, 2 timeouts, a lizard that gets picked up by one sister and shoved in the other sister's face, and then a mad dash by all three to get out of the pool when thunder is heard overhead. It's just another day for that cul-de-sac mom.

Her floaties weren't this cool, but, seriously, where was this thing when I was a kid?

Then we've got grandpa and itty-bitty granddaughter. Homegirl is sporting the water wings like a champ, and grandpa keeps his shirt and hat on in the pool, typical. They splash around and she attempts to play with the other kids, who are a little bit older than she is. But then her mom pulls up to watch this Kodak moment. Of course, she ends up talking to the other tankini mom, at which point they begin discussing one of the kid's rashes. And I'm not talking about a hushed-tones kind of conversation with vague descriptions, either. Excuse me, what? We're in a semi-public place. That's disgusting. Take that business home. Why is rash-kid bopping around the pool, anyway? Isn't that stuff contagious? Good thing lifeguard boy peaced out because he had a doctor's appointment, otherwise he'd be needing some mouth-to-mouth (provided by someone else since my CPR and first aid certification has expired...whew). Tankini lady two, take a lesson from the pool and filter.

...And then there was me. Creepily watching all of this transpire while listening to my beach music playlist, reading "Tender Is The Night," and sunscreening it up with my SPF 55. (Over-stimulated much?) As much as I would love to say I was a complete outsider and just observed everything as a third party, not the case. I'm sure my presence contributed to the comedic display just as much as the next tankini lady.