Brady

And you thought it was over...

Nope.

Meet Brady.

While neither one of my precious little nuggets from camp are not able to be adopted, Brady is. He's six years old and is currently waiting in foster care until his forever family finds him.

Brady is awfully shy, but is a gem.

He loves riding bikes, television, and, like any little boy, squirt guns.

After my time at camp this summer, I am itching to get back. My time in America is spent mostly thinking about them. The ones we left behind.

We've kept in touch with our translators from camp. They go and visit the kids. While I love seeing new pictures of them, it breaks my heart to hear what they say.

They're waiting on us to come back for them.

They cry themselves to sleep at night.

They still remember us.

And you know what? There is nothing that will ever make me forget them.

. . .

As much as my heart longs to go and love on them, I know I have work here to finish.

Won't you help me find Brady his forever family? He deserves to be loved deeply by a family of his very own. 

Hopefully soon I'll have a video to accompany this! The challenges of driving the technology struggle bus...

My-Not-So-Obligatory-Yet-Still-Important-What-I-Learned-In-China List

Okay, so I couldn't let it go completely. In the spirit of my list-making tendencies, here's a broad list of what we learned on our trip to China. Mostly the funny parts. But funny is real life.

1. Dramamine is essential on any trip. No matter where you're going or what you're doing, you'll inevitably want it at some point.
2. If you look especially pitiful to the flight attendant, she'll take extra good care of you.
3. Never make a Chinese man late. Especially if you already nicknamed him Ping Pong.
4. Don't underestimate the power of charades and body language. Eventually they'll get the point across. And put the sales people in good spirits since they'll undoubtedly laugh at you. Shameless.
5. Ever want to feel like a unicorn? Go to a Chinese train station and be the only white person there. Then people will stare at you and exclaim, "Wow, they really do exist." But you won't know they're saying that because they don't speak English.
6. If you're not sure what the shallow metal bowl that is sitting next to your sleeper on the train is for, assume it's a bed pan and treat it accordingly.
7. Always, always, always establish a meeting spot at the train station. Assuming you get off at the right stop.
8. When riding in a car or van in China, just close your eyes if you don't want to elevate your blood pressure.
9. The question still lingers, which is more fun: homemade fun or a Wii?
10. Always write down things that are funny so you can revisit them later. At more appropriate times.
11. Old Navy isn't a nickname, but they will email you more than your parents.
12. Never leave without a substantial amount of toilet paper in your backpack.
13. If you can get really good at holding in your liquids, you can usually wait to find a western toilet and avoid squatty potties altogether.
14. It's possible to not go to the bathroom for 12 hours. (I didn't say it was healthy, just possible.)
15. Always snag the extra toothbrushes from the nice hotel rooms in Beijing.
16. There are no accidents when it comes to toothbrushes. That sucker touches the faucet water and it's game over.
17. Run faster than The Flash through Chinese locker rooms while looking down at the floor or up at the ceiling.
18. There is a real need in this world for designated stroller parking.
19. Chancing explosive diarrhea is worth it for ice in your beverage.
20. And street food.
21. You can never have too many wet wipes handy.
22. Asians really do carry around umbrellas.
23. Don't get overly ambitious when the buffet finally serves sweet and sour chicken. You'll pay for it.
24. Chopsticks make it super hard to sneak food off someone else's plate.
25. The stair stepper at the gym doesn't hold a candle to the Great Wall.
26. Sometimes you just have to leave in the middle of lunch to get sick because the noodles were too spicy. It's okay, another foreigner will understand and watch your kids for you.
27. Noodles can look like tapeworms. Be sure you know the difference before telling a story.
28. A little self-disclosure can make a good story great.
29. Mulan is so much cooler than I ever knew.
30. If you have to ask what kind of meat it is, don't eat it. Or pretend it's chicken.
31. Fried eggplant sure does look a lot like sweet and sour chicken.
32. Fried eggplant and sweet and sour chicken do not taste the same. On any level.
33. Chinese fortune cookies don't actually exist in China. Bummer.
34. Sit close to the grill at Korean BBQ or else you'll get so hungry you'll take a bite of raw onion.
35. Sometimes kids practice their English on you. And they only know animal vocabulary. Just roll with it.
36. ALWAYS ask if anyone needs to go to the bathroom before moving on to the next activity.
37. Women are doves. Unless they talk about poop. And then they're pigeons.
38. The smell of urine lingers everywhere. Just don't ask.
39. Sometimes you don't have any time to take care of your own basic needs. So you pee in the pool. Just kidding. Maybe. It was definitely suggested at one point.
40. You have to ease back into dairy. In the words of Phil Dunphy, "Slow is smooth, and smooth is fast." Smooth is totally what we're going for here.

Next Steps (China Part 11)

I just want to warn you this post is probably going to be anticlimactic. 

I've just poured out the impact this trip has had on my life, and then I'm supposed to wrap it up with a profound ending.

Well, hate to break it to you, but my conclusions are always the worst.

However, I do want to do my best to encourage and spur you on.

 If you want to know more about the trip or just hear about it in person, please just ask! I'll probably be that annoying person who can't stop talking about it anyway. Not because of anything I've done, but just because of how the Lord has broken me and given me a new heart for Him and His children.

If adoption is on your heart, I would love to pray with you about it and point you toward some wonderful resources I know of! Even if you are like me and are just a twenty-something student, it's never too early to start praying that God would prepare your heart. And you can always pave the way for others.

While neither one of my girls from camp are able to be adopted at this time, other children at camp are. Currently I'm waiting on some pictures of a precious little boy in an Asian orphanage who would love a home. While I don't necessarily expect one of you to adopt him, I want you to have a name and a face in your mind and heart. Please advocate for these kids who don't have a voice! I can't stop dreaming about my kids and I would love for them to find their forever home.

Don't just advocate for these kids, lift them up to the Lord in prayer. By name. Look at their faces and intercede on their behalf. Ask God to shower them in blessings and love. Ask for them to come to know Him. Ask for Him to accomplish the impossible and supernatural. And then believe that He can do all of those things.

Sometimes donating money seems like such an easy answer. However, good orphanages remain able to provide love and care for so many children because of God's provisions to them especially through donations. Please ask me if you want me to direct you to some wonderful organizations who are in need of financial support. You can even help me sponsor my kids if that's on your heart.

I know going across the globe is not exactly something that most people do on a whim. Shoot, I'd love to just pack my bags and go wherever I please whenever I'd like. However, I would really encourage you to consider volunteering at camp next summer. I would be more than happy to tell you about the organization we went through as well as connect you with other people on the trip so you can hear their experiences. This trip changed my life in a way no other mission trip has. If you haven't already picked up on it, this trip is hard, but rejoice in your obedience to the commands laid out for us Acts 1:8, James 1:27, Isaiah 1:17, Psalm 82:3... I promise there are more.

This is the video from our camp week and city. They showed it to the entire group the last night of camp and it was so precious to see the kids smile and squeal when they saw themselves!

Thank you so much for taking this journey with me. Your prayers and encouragement while I was overseas was more of a blessing than you'll ever know. Thanks for accompanying me on this process of grief and joy, and also letting me be vulnerable before you. I hope the Lord worked in you through this trip, too. 

You Are Mine (China Part 8)

Friday was the most horrible day of my life. I felt the dread the moment I woke up. I love these kids. I wasn't ready to part with them.

I was prepared for the day to be difficult. But I couldn't have been prepared for what happened.

We started out reading the letters the kids wrote us and the letters we wrote to our kids. Tears flowed. Cries let out. Anger and hurt unleashed.

We got ourselves together (as much as could be expected) and went to lunch. Treasuring the last moments together, I couldn't eat. I just watched my girls.

Then we began what seemed like the longest walk of my life: getting their belongings and putting them on the bus.

One last potty break. One last impromptu photo shoot. One last snuggle. One last hug. One last kiss.

Then the bus pulled up. 

It was time.

I put Winnie on first because she was easier to get on there since I carried her.

I picked a window seat for her and sat her down. My tears were flowing, but I was trying not to scare her. I couldn't let go. Over and over I kept telling her "Wo Ai Ni," "I love you" in Chinese as I hugged her frail little body. She looked up at me with a big grin and then I saw the expression change on her face. She knew I wasn't sitting down beside her. She started crying. I let loose sobbing. I'm talking full body crying. I stood over her for what seemed like an eternity and still too short of a time trying to get a grip on myself.

I had to keep going. I had another child to get on the bus.

Juju cooperated surprisingly well and got on the bus without putting up a big fight. As I sat her down, I whispered the same thing to her, "Wo Ai Ni, Wo Ai Ni." I squeezed her tight and as I felt her start crying, I knew I would end up riding back to the orphanage to stay forever if I didn't get off that bus immediately.

At this point I'm crying harder than I've ever cried in my entire life. And let me just say it wasn't a pretty sight.

I finally took in what was happening around us.

And it was worse than I could have ever imagined.

Even the happiest children were wailing and yelling out, "Please don't leave me" in Chinese.

Brothers and sisters literally holding each other up so they didn't hit the concrete ground sobbing.

There was not a dry eye. No child. No volunteer. No staff. No translator. Age didn't matter. Gender didn't matter. Nationality didn't matter. No one was immune to what was happening here.

If I had eaten anything that day, I would have thrown up. I was literally sick to my stomach about this.

What a humbling experience to be so vulnerable before each other and so broken before the Father.

I knew what fate I was sending them to.

Was anyone going to give them hope anymore? Would they ever be adopted? Would they accept the Good News?

And how much clearer is the picture of the pain and hurt of the Father sending His only Son for us.

I know they come from a good orphanage. I know they have so many more opportunities for them than most orphans. I know this week was good for them.

I also know that most of them feel like they have no hope.

I know they feel the hurt of abandonment.

I know they feel rejected.

I know I loved them the best I could. And you know what?  It still doesn't feel like enough.

You know why? Because it wasn't.

Only One can fulfill them and make them whole. Only One can heal them from the pain those precious little ones are much too young to feel. Only One has their names written on the palm of His hand and knows how many hairs are on those sweet heads of theirs.

And that's not me.

 Parting gifts. How excited these sweet girls were!

 We would have been lost without our translators!

 Hamming it up one last time.

This is what it means to held.

"...Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are Mine." Isaiah 43:1

It's A Small World After All (China Part 7)

One of the neatest parts of this camp is the blending of cultures that came together over one common Love.

This is bigger than the American Melting Pot, the Olympics, and even the great Disney ride It's A Small World.

These precious brothers and sister came from all corners of the world to demonstrate the same love that died for us.

The Irish were represented and all four of them became dear friends quickly.

Jordan and her family sat with us during crafts everyday. What a blessing they were!

Marrying Rob off to one of the American girls quickly became a task of upmost importance. And we begged him to say words like "stunning" in his Irish accent, which I guess is really just his normal voice.

John was one of two Aussies in the group. He took a special liking to Juju, and she loved hearing him call her "love." 

The Americas were represented as well. Katie B was one of my most favorites. She was such a blessing and I needed her encouragement during the week to make it through!

While that was just a few of the amazing volunteers and staff from camp, there were so many more there who I can't wait to be with again once we step into eternity. I imagine our times of worship are just a glimpse of what our forevers will look like. I am so thankful for the relationships I built with each of them and treasure them dearly.

Another highlight of the different cultures coming together was the production of the talent show.

Hello, legitimate Irish step performance. I can't imagine the patience and hard work Steph and Ciera put into this with their kids.

Oh John. Even though he's Australian, he speaks Chinese, so his family performed a skit during the talent show. All seven words I know in Chinese were not enough for me to understand what was going on. However, the kids and translators were absolutely howling, so I'm assuming it was hysterical.

Rachel, another Aussie, and Mel, a fellow Southerner, performed a song with their kids about their favorite parts of camp. It was precious.

Rob's group pulled practical jokes for their talent. Sweet little Bei Bei could have gotten up there and blown spit bubbles and I would have thought it was adorable, so this was even better.

Our little group. Bless us. Winnie sang Twinkle Twinkle Little Star in English (I promise it's a bigger deal than it sounds) and then we all blew a few kisses to the crowd (Juju was pretty good at doing that to the boys anyway). I was proud of them both getting up there, especially considering we planned this as we were sitting there.

To wrap up the night, each group got up and sang their country's national anthem. First the Irish, then the Australians, the Americans, then all of the Chinese.

I got chills singing our nation's anthem, and realized that was as close as I'd ever get to feeling like a gold medal Olympic athlete standing on the podium representing their country. But really, it was such a cool experience to realize the blessings and opportunities that come from being American while also realizing that our Father cannot be bound by borders, law, customs, or any other worldly force.

The Chinese were so proud to sing their national anthem for the group of foreigners.

He's got the whole world in His hands, you know?

Juju (China Part 6)

Oh, Juju. Where do I even begin? She was the one who challenged me the most during the week, but she was also the most rewarding in the time we had together.

Bless her, I don't think I'd be happy either if some foreigner was treating me with lice shampoo. I had to keep reminding myself it was for her own good. And she ended up cooperating like a champ.

She was very wary of me in the beginning, so I tried to limit the pictures. Does this face look like one that wants to be disturbed while eating? I got the hint. 

 She did seem to enjoy crafts after a while.

Her relationship with Mona was the coolest thing to watch.

While she and I took longer to bond, she took to Mona much faster, which was humbling to have to accept. Mona is absolutely wonderful, but part of me was a little jealous to have Juju prefer her over our own family. I quickly got over that though when Juju opened up to Mona and began to enjoy herself more.

Turns out, that was just the encouragement she needed to come out of her shell.

 Apparently, Juju is a little bit boy crazy. She had a crush on Mick the translator. Look at that face!

Juju also loved to play with Mona's hair every chance she got.

See, she's a little shy even to the most welcoming of foreigners.

But we finally got her to open up some. Please notice Natalie's Alpha Gam sunglasses she snatched at some point and toted around all week.

She really enjoyed James coming and tucking her in, even if she was a little shy.

Juju was a constant reminder of how my own unwillingness to trust the Father's plan out of fear only holds me back. 

While Juju was working on her communication skills, her smiles and laughs were the most rewarding sights and sounds I have ever seen and heard.

Even though I don't understand the process of pairing orphans and volunteers, I know that our pairing was no accident.

After that first difficult day, I knew she needed love and hope more than any child at camp.

She taught me the patience of Job and the importance of being brave and jumping in the water, both literally and figuratively.

Sweet Juju, I hope the week impacted you more than I'll ever know. 

Winnie (China Part 5)

Here's where I run into a problem on these posts.

Some of the days run together. Not just that, but Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday all had similar schedules.

Hindsight: I should have been a lot more disciplined in journaling. Scribbling out a few sentences was the best I could do.

Regardless, instead of showing you each of those days individually, I want to give you a greater grasp of the whole picture.

What better way than to share with you each of my precious kiddos?

Since she was first off the bus and always the first one ready to go, I'll start with Winnie.

To put it simply, this child has captured my heart.

Look at that sass.

Winnie is always full of laughter and smiles.

And she has quite a precious singing voice.

 She captured the hearts of everyone at camp. She and Jenna had a special bond, too. I loved watching Winnie try to mimmic Jenna's facial expressions.

Winnie also loved craft time.

Winnie's portrait of the two of us and then her picture of me. Please notice how big my feet are in both of those. Good eye, kid.

 She was quite the concentrated artist.

 Those sweet, excited squeals made my heart melt.

 What a girly girl. The hair. The makeup. The jewelry. Totes rocking it.

 Sweet little giggles.

 Snuggling at bedtime.

 And she is quite the voracious eater.

I love this child so very much. She blessed my time at camp tremendously. She was so funny in her encouragement to Juju trying to entice her to hurry along to mealtime because she was hungry. 

She had a mind of her own, and when it was time to do something, she would scoot herself along on her walker. 

When she was amused, her whole body seemed to cry out in a fit of giggles. 

She is such a sweet little cuddler, and I would just feel her melt into me when she got sleepy. 

She is smart as a whip, and frequently sung me songs and recited poetry she learned in school. She could also count to 50 in English. I'd say that's quite a feat since I could barely utter seven things in Mandarin by the time I got home. (I counted. 7 was generous.) She also frequently said, "Thank you" in English accompanied by a huge smile.

When she got weary, I would carry her. What a picture. Isn't that what my Father does for me? 

Wo Ai Ni, my sweet Winnie.