We Never Ate Fried Rice (China Part 9)

I know the subject of this blog has gotten pretty heavy pretty fast. I make no apologies for it. In fact, I hope it made you uncomfortable. Uncomfortable enough to ask yourself, "What can I do?"

Well, my friend, I'm still getting to that.

But before then, I figured I'd show you the rest of the trip.

Once the kids left, we had a sweet, unplanned time of worship. Some of us (admittedly me) could hardly choke through the words to the songs. The crying and sniffling never seemed to end.

We gradually floated back to our rooms to rest and presumably cry a little bit more.

We spent the afternoon grieving and praying for these kids.

It may seem a bit absurd, but once you're in that situation and your heart has been knitted to theirs, it's like a huge chunk of you is gone once they leave.

It's a lot to process at once, and the pure exhaustion of the week catches up with you.

But once we had our translator ceremony thanking them for all of their hard work we tried to clean ourselves up and pull ourselves out of bed again and keep on living.

Tori, Rob, and I went out with a staff member to explore the street markets.

Remember when I said the food wasn't so great? Well, it was just at camp that it was bad.

We're still not entirely sure what these are, but we called them hamburgers. We bought them from a street vendor and it was about one of the spiciest things I've ever been able to eat.

And it was so good.

 It was some sort of meat that came out of a crock pot looking thing, chopped up with some peppers, and ground into almost a thick paste then stuffed in a homemade pita-like bread.

Heavens it is good.

But if you get that sauce anywhere on your face, it burns like the fire of a thousand suns. (That's a bit dramatic, but it is stinking hot.)

For lunch the next day we ate family style in the upstairs of some restaurant down the street from our dorm.

 This was when I was especially thankful I packed a fork. I was able to get in there before the sweet and sour chicken was gone. And we had some really good shredded potatoes in a vinegar type base which I scooped out with my spoon. Another favorite was the fried bananas. Once you got over the insane temperature, they were incredibly tasty. (Apparently that's what the bowl of water sitting next to them was. Stupid foreigners.)

 There were some more questionable food items like lotus root which I was not brave enough to try. Tori wasn't a fan.

Be still my heart, I love these people.

For dinner we went to a Korean BBQ restaurant.

 You get a bunch of raw food and fry it up yourself at your table.

 Yep, it was questionable.

 The closest we got to bacon the whole trip.

 It was actually better than it looked.

 We were supposed to dip the tofu in the raw egg, but we fried it up instead.

Should I mention we went out for ice cream after almost every meal? Because we did. And it was so good.

And we went back for those Chinese hamburger things. So delicious.

Another little outing we had during the week was getting on a bus and going to a local supermarket. You have to lock up your belongings except for your money in a locker once you get in the store, so I don't have any pictures, but trust me, it was an experience.

The FDA definitely doesn't exist everywhere.

Instead of getting on the bus on the way back, we rode in these. Jenna, Jacob, Tori, and Me. All for 8 chinese dollars (or about $1.34 US). Boys, if you're looking to date cheaply, move to China.

We definitely got a cultural experience while we were there!

You Are Mine (China Part 8)

Friday was the most horrible day of my life. I felt the dread the moment I woke up. I love these kids. I wasn't ready to part with them.

I was prepared for the day to be difficult. But I couldn't have been prepared for what happened.

We started out reading the letters the kids wrote us and the letters we wrote to our kids. Tears flowed. Cries let out. Anger and hurt unleashed.

We got ourselves together (as much as could be expected) and went to lunch. Treasuring the last moments together, I couldn't eat. I just watched my girls.

Then we began what seemed like the longest walk of my life: getting their belongings and putting them on the bus.

One last potty break. One last impromptu photo shoot. One last snuggle. One last hug. One last kiss.

Then the bus pulled up. 

It was time.

I put Winnie on first because she was easier to get on there since I carried her.

I picked a window seat for her and sat her down. My tears were flowing, but I was trying not to scare her. I couldn't let go. Over and over I kept telling her "Wo Ai Ni," "I love you" in Chinese as I hugged her frail little body. She looked up at me with a big grin and then I saw the expression change on her face. She knew I wasn't sitting down beside her. She started crying. I let loose sobbing. I'm talking full body crying. I stood over her for what seemed like an eternity and still too short of a time trying to get a grip on myself.

I had to keep going. I had another child to get on the bus.

Juju cooperated surprisingly well and got on the bus without putting up a big fight. As I sat her down, I whispered the same thing to her, "Wo Ai Ni, Wo Ai Ni." I squeezed her tight and as I felt her start crying, I knew I would end up riding back to the orphanage to stay forever if I didn't get off that bus immediately.

At this point I'm crying harder than I've ever cried in my entire life. And let me just say it wasn't a pretty sight.

I finally took in what was happening around us.

And it was worse than I could have ever imagined.

Even the happiest children were wailing and yelling out, "Please don't leave me" in Chinese.

Brothers and sisters literally holding each other up so they didn't hit the concrete ground sobbing.

There was not a dry eye. No child. No volunteer. No staff. No translator. Age didn't matter. Gender didn't matter. Nationality didn't matter. No one was immune to what was happening here.

If I had eaten anything that day, I would have thrown up. I was literally sick to my stomach about this.

What a humbling experience to be so vulnerable before each other and so broken before the Father.

I knew what fate I was sending them to.

Was anyone going to give them hope anymore? Would they ever be adopted? Would they accept the Good News?

And how much clearer is the picture of the pain and hurt of the Father sending His only Son for us.

I know they come from a good orphanage. I know they have so many more opportunities for them than most orphans. I know this week was good for them.

I also know that most of them feel like they have no hope.

I know they feel the hurt of abandonment.

I know they feel rejected.

I know I loved them the best I could. And you know what?  It still doesn't feel like enough.

You know why? Because it wasn't.

Only One can fulfill them and make them whole. Only One can heal them from the pain those precious little ones are much too young to feel. Only One has their names written on the palm of His hand and knows how many hairs are on those sweet heads of theirs.

And that's not me.

 Parting gifts. How excited these sweet girls were!

 We would have been lost without our translators!

 Hamming it up one last time.

This is what it means to held.

"...Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are Mine." Isaiah 43:1

It's A Small World After All (China Part 7)

One of the neatest parts of this camp is the blending of cultures that came together over one common Love.

This is bigger than the American Melting Pot, the Olympics, and even the great Disney ride It's A Small World.

These precious brothers and sister came from all corners of the world to demonstrate the same love that died for us.

The Irish were represented and all four of them became dear friends quickly.

Jordan and her family sat with us during crafts everyday. What a blessing they were!

Marrying Rob off to one of the American girls quickly became a task of upmost importance. And we begged him to say words like "stunning" in his Irish accent, which I guess is really just his normal voice.

John was one of two Aussies in the group. He took a special liking to Juju, and she loved hearing him call her "love." 

The Americas were represented as well. Katie B was one of my most favorites. She was such a blessing and I needed her encouragement during the week to make it through!

While that was just a few of the amazing volunteers and staff from camp, there were so many more there who I can't wait to be with again once we step into eternity. I imagine our times of worship are just a glimpse of what our forevers will look like. I am so thankful for the relationships I built with each of them and treasure them dearly.

Another highlight of the different cultures coming together was the production of the talent show.

Hello, legitimate Irish step performance. I can't imagine the patience and hard work Steph and Ciera put into this with their kids.

Oh John. Even though he's Australian, he speaks Chinese, so his family performed a skit during the talent show. All seven words I know in Chinese were not enough for me to understand what was going on. However, the kids and translators were absolutely howling, so I'm assuming it was hysterical.

Rachel, another Aussie, and Mel, a fellow Southerner, performed a song with their kids about their favorite parts of camp. It was precious.

Rob's group pulled practical jokes for their talent. Sweet little Bei Bei could have gotten up there and blown spit bubbles and I would have thought it was adorable, so this was even better.

Our little group. Bless us. Winnie sang Twinkle Twinkle Little Star in English (I promise it's a bigger deal than it sounds) and then we all blew a few kisses to the crowd (Juju was pretty good at doing that to the boys anyway). I was proud of them both getting up there, especially considering we planned this as we were sitting there.

To wrap up the night, each group got up and sang their country's national anthem. First the Irish, then the Australians, the Americans, then all of the Chinese.

I got chills singing our nation's anthem, and realized that was as close as I'd ever get to feeling like a gold medal Olympic athlete standing on the podium representing their country. But really, it was such a cool experience to realize the blessings and opportunities that come from being American while also realizing that our Father cannot be bound by borders, law, customs, or any other worldly force.

The Chinese were so proud to sing their national anthem for the group of foreigners.

He's got the whole world in His hands, you know?

Juju (China Part 6)

Oh, Juju. Where do I even begin? She was the one who challenged me the most during the week, but she was also the most rewarding in the time we had together.

Bless her, I don't think I'd be happy either if some foreigner was treating me with lice shampoo. I had to keep reminding myself it was for her own good. And she ended up cooperating like a champ.

She was very wary of me in the beginning, so I tried to limit the pictures. Does this face look like one that wants to be disturbed while eating? I got the hint. 

 She did seem to enjoy crafts after a while.

Her relationship with Mona was the coolest thing to watch.

While she and I took longer to bond, she took to Mona much faster, which was humbling to have to accept. Mona is absolutely wonderful, but part of me was a little jealous to have Juju prefer her over our own family. I quickly got over that though when Juju opened up to Mona and began to enjoy herself more.

Turns out, that was just the encouragement she needed to come out of her shell.

 Apparently, Juju is a little bit boy crazy. She had a crush on Mick the translator. Look at that face!

Juju also loved to play with Mona's hair every chance she got.

See, she's a little shy even to the most welcoming of foreigners.

But we finally got her to open up some. Please notice Natalie's Alpha Gam sunglasses she snatched at some point and toted around all week.

She really enjoyed James coming and tucking her in, even if she was a little shy.

Juju was a constant reminder of how my own unwillingness to trust the Father's plan out of fear only holds me back. 

While Juju was working on her communication skills, her smiles and laughs were the most rewarding sights and sounds I have ever seen and heard.

Even though I don't understand the process of pairing orphans and volunteers, I know that our pairing was no accident.

After that first difficult day, I knew she needed love and hope more than any child at camp.

She taught me the patience of Job and the importance of being brave and jumping in the water, both literally and figuratively.

Sweet Juju, I hope the week impacted you more than I'll ever know.